Big Issue column – Heatwave!

Heatwave. As the mercury rose in thermometers and newspaper offices searched for new variations on the ??Phew, what a scorcher?? headline, a friend and I booked our tickets for a long weekend away. Yes, your parliamentary servants have been set loose in a ritual known as summer recess.

Now recess is a funny thing. Although a few MSPs ?V a very few ?V try to get away with treating it all like a holiday, it is really just a suspension of one aspect of the job. The letters, the emails, the local visits and the media work never stop. The organisations, businesses, individuals and campaign groups who want to contact their MSPs are still there, and some of them are actually more active over the summer. So recess brings with it the chance of a more normal pace of work, and a different focus. But it??s difficult to get away from the job completely.

So a complete break was called for. We climbed aboard the London sleeper, bound for Brighton. Little did we know that we were timed to arrive along with the heat. As temperatures went well past 30?a we began to show Sussex what colour Glaswegians go in the sun.

The whole sweltering experience has led me to make this call to the fashion world. If those of us maladapted to summer are to make it through heat like this we need to revive a couple of slightly older fashion accessories. My first proposal is this: bring back the parasol. At rainy times of year the shops are quick to stock up with waterproof brollies, so why not recall their original purpose by providing us once again with lightweight summer versions? What could be better than a little patch of shade to carry around?

Sunshades have even been proposed on a megastructure scale ?V orbiting versions to protect the earth from climate change. That seems like dangerous tinkering, and my plan to bring back the personal parasol has the added advantage of being a useful flirting device too!

Which brings me to the other great reinvention that??s waiting to happen. The fan. No, not those silly little electric things, utterly devoid of dramatic value. I mean the discreet little fold-away paper fan, which not only provides a refreshing breeze but also comes magnificently into its own when the need arises for a coy glance or a scandalous whisper!

Some might say that this is all a bit out of step with today??s culture. I disagree. If David Beckham can wear a sarong, I see no reason why every ladmag in the country shouldn??t jump on this bandwagon.

I??ll end with the remark I overheard on a bus this week, that the current sunny spell is just ??not like the nice heatwaves we used to get??. Well that may be so, but with parasols and fans at the ready we can make the next one more swish than anything since the 1880s. You may join me if you wish, or just put this whole column down to sunstroke. Your call.